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Anandamayi Ma - Biographical notes

"When by the flood of your tears
the inner and the outer have fused into one,
you will find Her whom you
sought with such anguish,
nearer than the nearest,
the very breath of life,
the very core of every heart."

Anandamayi Ma's Parents and Family

On April 30, 1896, in a humble cottage in the village of Kheora in the heart of primarily Muslim, rural Bengal, a devout Vaishnava brahman couple, Shri Bipin Bihari Bhattacarya and Srimati Mokshada Sundari Devi, gave birth to a girl, their second child. They named her Nirmala Sundari, or the One of Taintless Beauty. This baby girl was later to become known throughout India as Anandamayi Ma, the Bliss-Filled Mother, or simply Ma.

Both of Nirmala Sundari's parents possessed extraordinary spiritual sensibilities. Dadamahashaya,her father, was well respected in the villages of both his mother's and father's families for his "honest upright nature and his other worldliness." He spent most of his time absorbed in the worship of the family deity and in singing devotional songs. He had a fine voice and was compared by the villagers to the famous Bengali poet, Ramprasad Sen, because of his bhagavata-bhava-prema, his quality of divine love. He rarely slept at night. One night he was so intoxicated from chanting the divine name that he did not even notice that a severe windstorm had blown the tin roof off the building in which he was chanting. When his wife entered, she found him still singing with great love in the pouring rain.

Dadamahashaya's religious fervor was accompanied by lack of interest in worldly life. Before his marriage he had begun to wear the ochre robe of a sannyasin, or renunciant, but his parents called him home to marry the twelve-and- half-year-old, Mokshada Sundari Devi. Thus, although Dadamahashaya (Bipin Bihari Bhattacarya Mahasaya) was now leading the life of a householder, yet his inner feeling (bhava) seemed always to be in tune with divine union (yoga). Didima, however, being full of wisdom, patience, dignity, and fortitude through difficulties, remained in her innate bliss (ananda) and in her divine mood. Although she lived in poverty, she kept taking care of her elders day and night. Never was there in evidence even a shadow of any feeling of deficiency, complaint, worry or depressions in her. She always displayed an "unchanged calmness of spirit, an abiding sense of contentment and sufficiency, and was never slovenly or bitter.

During Dadamahashaya's absence, the couple's first daughter died in her second year. After a time, some neighbors, feeling compassion for the young wife, sent for her husband to return from his ascetic wanderings. He returned to Kheora after three years' absence. Soon his mother, called Thakurma, or grandmother, having become concerned that her son's renunciant streak would jeopardize the family lineage, went on a pilgrimage to the Kali temple at Kasba to pray to the Goddess for a grandson. However, when she came into the presence of the image of Kali, she found herself saying, "If I am blessed with a granddaughter and she lives long, then on the occasion of her marriage, Shree Shree Kalimata will be worshipped with due ceremonial rites." After she had uttered this vow, she yelled, "Oh, Hari, -what is it that I have done! After corning here to pray for a boy, I have asked for a girl!" As the Goddess would have it, her grandmother was to be Nirmala Sundari's playmate until she died just before her granddaughter's marriage.

Soon thereafter, a second child was conceived to these kind, loving, and religious parents. Anandamayi Ma was to say later in her life, "Before this body appeared, Father had abandoned his home. He had even donned the saffron robe for some time and spent his days and nights singing God's praises. This body appeared during his mood of renunciation." Reflecting on the time prior to Ma's birth, Didima reports, Your Ma was to make her advent in this body, but even two or three months before that, such was the concurrence that I very often saw many Incarnations (avataras) in various forms, numerous deities and gods come near me in a vision—what a glorious manifestation!

Anandamayi Ma's Birth

The birth itself was an unusual one. Her mother did not suffer much pain in labor, and the baby was born after only ten minutes of labor. Those present at the birth were concerned when the baby was absolutely quiet after her birth. Later on, when Ma was asked about this, she replied, "Why should I have cried? I was watching the mango tree through the apertures in the cane matting at that time." She had a fair and shining complexion and she "illumined Didima's cottage by the extraordinary lustre of her body." Thus, Didima named her Nirmala Sundari, or One of Taintless Beauty.

Anandamayi Ma's Childhood

Even as an infant, Nirmala was fully conscious. When she was four or five, she asked her mother, "Ma, didn't Mr. Nandan Chakravarty come to see me on the 13th day after my birth?" Her mother had not remembered that previously. When Nirmala was nine or ten months old, her mother relates that a radiant sadhu, or holy man, paid a visit to the house. He sat down close to the baby in the lotus posture and she crawled up to him. She gazed at him, "laughing, too, as if intimately familiar with him," and he looked intently at her, smiling all the while. Then he held little Nirmala overhead and "placed her feet reverently on his shoulder, head and other parts of his body in an extraordinary show of devotion and veneration and then sat her on his lap." Setting her down in front of him he began to perform puja, or worship, to her, bowing down before her. He said to the baby's mother: "This whom you are seeing before you, this is Ma [the Divine Mother] and is so not [only of] men and women but also as permeating and transcending the universe. You will certainly not be able to keep Her bound to family ties. She will definitely not remain here." The mahatma, or great soul, then vanished.

As a toddler, Nirmala was often seen in states of ecstasy, especially during kirtan, or devotional singing. Once when she was two and a half, she attended a nama kirtan, or chanting of the divine name, at a neighbor's house. She went into a trance like state, drooping over as she sat. Another time when little Nirmala returned home from a kirtan in which a stanza was sung about Radha mad with love for Lord Krishna, she sat "deeply absorbed under a cluster of bananas. . . . [and] started singing the same stanza lispingly. As she continued Her singing, a flow of tears kept on drenching Her." When asked about this later, Ma said, "I had experienced oneness with the prevailing bhava [emotion] of the kirtana singers."

At around the same age, Nirmala would exasperate her mother with her "absentmindedness" while she was being fed. Her mother would say, "You sit down for a meal and do not eat. Why do you always look up?" Later Ma explained, "I can tell you now that I used to watch images of the Gods and Goddesses coming and going [above me]."

Nirmala grew into a most unusual girl who displayed unquestioning obedience, uncompromising truthfulness and unimpaired cheerfulness. She had no sense of "I" or "mine" and often simply mirrored the emotions of those around her. She seemed to have no desires of her own so the incentives to her behavior took shape out of the wishes of her companions. She fetched and carried eagerly for everyone, and her sunny disposition earned her the nicknames Hasi Ma, Mother of Smiles, and Khushir Ma, Happy Mother.

Nirmala's obedience was a matter of her literal and unquestioning acceptance of the bidding of others. For example, one day her father told her to pause only at a comma when reading. After that, Nirmala would read in one breath. If she had to stop and take a breath, she would begin all over again. She would read holding her breath with great difficulty, contorting her body in this effort until she came to a full stop and released her breath.

Once Nirmala was taken by an aunt to a fair in a nearby village. She was told to sit quietly outside a Shiva temple while the adults went into the village. Her aunt forgot about her, but when she returned several hours later she found her "sitting like a little statue, motionless, staring into space. Sometimes Nirmala's literal obedience was disconcerting. Once when she was washing an agate cup, Didima saw her holding it a little negligently. She said, sarcastically, "You may as well drop it." Nirmala dropped it, and it shattered on the floor.

Nirmala seemed to have no emotion of her own. When she was eight or nine, her three younger brothers, ages six, four, and one and a half, died in quick succession over a period of six months. She remained calm and showed no sign of mourning. However, whenever her mother would begin to weep, Nirmala would break out into such a torrent of heart-rending sobs that her mother perforce had to forget her own sorrow in order to quiet the little girl. When asked about this later in her life, Ma said that she had felt absolutely no pang of separation at the death of her brothers. She only cried out of a sense of duty to her lamenting mother. Absolutely unperturbed herself, this girl of inscrutable character thus played to perfection [her] role.

As she grew older, Nirmala continued to be fascinated with religious subjects and to be drawn toward any religious event. She would accompany her father when he did his puja and talked endlessly with her mother about religious topics. Her greatest love was kirtan. Often she would wander off and sing devotional songs by herself. In an uncommon show of emotion, she would respond to the sentiment of the lyrics with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Although Nirmala had received only informal religious instruction from her parents, she displayed an uncanny knowledge of religious matters. Once an older female relative of Nirmala's took diksha, or initiation, from a guru. Soon she forgot the details of the required mudras, nyasa, and asanas,^1 but she was afraid to ask Didima for help, so she mentioned it to young Nirmala. Although the child had never seen anyone initiated, she gave her all the details. Nirmala explained, "Hearing the words of [my Aunty], all that just occurred spontaneously in this body."

Nirmala continued to fall into trancelike states. In the middle of work or play or at mealtime, she would become inert and stare into space with a fixed gaze. Her mother would shake and scold her or call her loudly by name as if calling her from a distance. It was some time before she was brought back to the consciousness of her surroundings.

Some of her relatives noticed that the child's states had an effect on them. Nirmala's thakurma, or maternal grandmother, said that once Nirmala had said something to her and that she had lost body consciousness for some time.

Young Nirmala took complete joy in nature. She was always happiest when she was outside. She would be seen "leaping and jumping in the air, and dancing and singing, surging in exaltation and exhilaration. . . . The void, air, light, water, etc., indeed all were [her] playmates." Once the thatched roof blew off the family cottage and everyone was very upset— everyone except Nirmala, who laughed and danced, clapping her hands, saying, "Now we can see the sky with its beautiful twinkling stars without having to take the trouble to go out of the house. Now in and out are one in the same!"

Trees, flowers, and animals were Nirmala's intimate friends. When she talked to the trees, they seemed to shake a little. She would wrap her body in the parts of trees, caressing them -with affection as she laughed and played in the breeze. Flowers were the objects of endless hours of devotion. When "the nandadulal blossomed in the evening, Nirmala used to remain with that blooming flower until it was dark." She also talked and played with birds and other animals, even snakes. Animals were irresistibly drawn to her.

Nirmala's mother worried about her daughter's future. She seemed so simple and acted so strangely at times. Yet Nirmala learned to do everything required of a young housewife, seemingly without any training: sewing, cooking, crafts. Although she only received two years of formal schooling, because of the distance to school and her mother's need for help at home, she had done very well. In spite of the fact that Didima called her by nicknames such as Ahalya, which connote a lack of alertness, it seemed that Nirmala almost instantly learned whatever the schoolmaster assigned. When asked later about this, Ma said, "Reading and memorizing happened automatically." Another time she said, "Somehow or other... the meaning of unknown words would occur to me spontaneously."

Anandamayi Ma's Marriage

When Nirmala was twelve years old, her father became concerned that his daughter's marriage had yet to be arranged. He asked Nirmala's youngest maternal uncle to read her horoscope, but the uncle took it and then refused to return it, although he was asked repeatedly to do so. As a result, Dadamahashaya worried that there was something inauspicious about it. In fact, Nirmala's uncle reported much later, the horoscope had predicted that Nirmala would "never be tied down to family life," a prediction which would not have been welcome at that time.

Nirmala's father traveled to the village of Dokaci to look for a suitable groom. While he was gone, Nirmala said, strangely, to her mother and grandmother, "I saw a police inspector." They were worried by this mysterious statement. Nirmala's father returned with a man from Dokaci, who was seeking a bride for one Ramani Mohan Chakravarti, his brother-in-law, who worked for the police department in Atpara, district Vikrampur. Although Ramani Mohan was much older than Nirmala, his father, Jagatbandhu Chakravarti, then deceased, was from a distinguished brahman Bharadwaj family. Ramani Mohan's brother-in-law questioned the young bride to be and her mother and seemed satisfied.

The negotiations were completed quickly, and an auspicious date was set for the ceremonies. The marriage took place on February 7, 1909. The procession started from the Kasba Kali temple. After the Vrddhi Kriya, or prosperity ceremony, Ramani Mohan mounted an elephant and arrived in Kheora at a fixed time, the band playing ahead. All the guests from Vidyakut and Sultanpur had arrived. Nirmala, then twelve years and ten months old, had been made to sleep in a different house, facing east. During the wedding ceremony, Nirmala did everything exactly according to instructions. However, no one had told her how to perform Shubha Drshti, the first exchange of auspicious glances. When the time came for her to look upon her husband for the first time, she was "looking skyward at the spectators who had congregated in a group there."

Sri Laksmicharan, a famous old village pandit, performed the liavati, or fire oblation. He said to Ramani Mohan, "Grandson, you will not know what jewel you are taking home!" The pandit's son also remarked, as he looked at the young bride, "Her shining complexion is becoming visible through her clothing. She is not an ordinary person!" After the ceremony, Nirmala's youngest uncle feasted Ramani Mohan and showered the couple with many gifts, while keeping secret his findings upon reading Nirmala's horoscope

Nirmala continued to live with her parents for the next year in Kheora. Because Ramani Mohan had been told that his new bride had been a student at the lower primary school, he wrote her letters, although he, too, had had only a rudimentary education. Everyone in the village knew about the letters because very few letters ever came to the post office. When the first one arrived, Nirmala's mother put it in a very prominent place for her daughter to take. It remained there for four days, since Nirmala had not been told to take it. Finally, she told her to take it. It was read amid much laughing and teasing, and Nirmala's friends sat down with her to compile an answer.

Anandamayi Ma as a Daughter-in-Law

When Nirmala was fourteen, it seemed appropriate to send her to the house of her husband's family. However, because Ramani Mohan's parents were both dead, the responsibility of training the new housewife fell upon the wife of Ramani Mohan's eldest brother. Thus, Nirmala's father escorted her to Shripur, to the house of Revati Mohan and his wife, Pramoda Devi. Revati Mohan was employed as a stationmaster. Ramani Mohan, himself, having lost his job at Atpara, was spending most of his time traveling all over East Bengal looking for work.

Before Nirmala's departure, her mother instructed her to silently obey the orders of her husband and the elders of his family. When Nirmala and her father left Kheora, no one could help crying with a mind heavily grief-stricken! It appeared from their mood and talks as if something very extraordinary had left the village.

Upon arriving at Shripur, Ramani Mohan asked Nirmala to unquestioningly carry out the orders of the household elders in his absence. The household of Revati Mohan and Pramoda included their two sons, Kalipada and Ashu, and their daughter, Labanya, as well as Ramani Mohan's second eldest brother, Surendra Mohan, and his wife, Prafulla, who was even younger than Nirmala. Indeed, everyone agreed that during the four years in which Nirmala lived at Shripur, she was the model sister-in-law. She followed the instructions of her elder sister-in-law and her husband to the letter. She undertook all the household tasks "like a machine," with no trace of exhaustion. Moreover, if any elder was about to do any work, she would take that work from her hands with a smiling face and do it Herself. From earliest dawn until late in the evening, she fetched water, cooked, cleaned, looked after the children, and ran errands with cheerfulness, quickness and neatness of movements. She worked so continuously that she developed sores between her fingers and toes from having them in water so long. Some neighborhood women, for whom she sometimes scrubbed pots without being asked, questioned her, "What kind of person are you? Have you no feeling of pain in your body? Are you human?"

Nirmala was much loved by Revati Mohan and Pramoda. Revati Mohan credited her with saving his life by nursing him through a serious illness. He once refused to let her visit her parents because he could not bear to be without her. The younger children, Ashu and Labanya, also adored Nirmala. Many years later, during the 1960s, Ma had a reunion in Calcutta with her sister-in-law, Pramoda. Late one night the two women regaled everyone with a conversation about the old days. Ma said, "Look, all these housewives think that they are great experts in household work. Tell them whether I, too, did not look after your house satisfactorily?" Pramoda replied, "You cannot imagine how sweet and good she was. She not only did my entire work, but I will acknowledge that she never gave me any cause for dissatisfaction throughout the years that she was with me. Truly, such a spirit of seva is rare nowadays."

There were times, however, when Revati Mohan and Pramoda wondered if Nirmala was a simpleton. Once, when the household was very anxious about a legal suit in which Nirmala's absent husband was involved, Pramoda commented, "What ill luck has befallen [Ramani Mohan]! And see, is there the least worry or anxiety in her? What sort of person are you? Could you realize this situation? Look this is what has happened!" Nirmala listened and said, "Now may I go back to work?"

Nirmala always served food to everyone else and ate what was left over, sometimes going without adequate food. Pramoda finally insisted that Nirmala eat with her so she could ensure that the girl ate properly. When Pramoda was suffering from a skin disease, Nirmala would scratch her skin to relieve the itch and then refuse to wash her hands. She said, "Does one wash one's own hands every time after scratching one's own body?"

Nirmala followed purdah restrictions almost to a fault. She was so careful as not to let any man, even a relative, see her unveiled, that she often could not see what she was being told to carry. Thus, Revati Mohan's house was "the training center for Nirmala's 'outer manifestation' as a housewife. Her 'inner being' seems to have remained unrevealed during this period. However, there were a few instances of trances, which were by and large interpreted as "spells of absentmindedness" or "sleepiness" by Ramani Mohan's family. Sometimes, while in the midst of work, Nirmala "would unaccountably become inert, as if sleeping." Once or twice, Pramoda was attracted to the kitchen by the smell of burning food. She found her youngest sister-in-law lying motionless on the floor amidst the litter of cooking utensils. When shaken and aroused, she would appear to be embarrassed at the damage caused and quickly set about repairing it. Pramoda thought she had been overcome by sleep and left it at that.

In 1913, Revati Mohan passed away from complications of diabetes. Toward the end of his brother's illness, Ramani Mohan had returned to Shripur to help nurse him. For six months after Revati Mohan's death, Nirmala lived with Pramoda and the children at Atpara. When Nirmala's father came to take Nirmala to Vidyakut for a visit, little Labanya said, "I shall not stay here at any cost without Aunty," and she rolled on the ground, weeping profusely. But Nirmala left without her and stayed for six months with her parents in Vidyakut.

Anandamayi Ma Joins Her Husband in Ashtagrama

In 1914, Ramani Mohan secured employment in the Land Settlement Department in Ashtagrama, also in East Bengal. Nirmala, by then eighteen years old, went to join her husband there. Bidding her a tearful good-bye, Nirmala's mother gave her the following instructions: "Now you must look upon your husband as your guardian and obey and respect him just as you did your own parents." Nirmala followed these instructions completely.

For sixteen months, Nirmala and Ramani Mohan lived together in Ashtagrama in the household of Shri Sarada Shankar Sen and his wife. In this household, as was true in Shripur, Nirmala was much loved and appreciated. Her personality so radiated joyfulness that Shrimati Sen decided that, since all mothers are addressed by their child's name plus "Ma" and Nirmala's childhood name was khushi, cheerfulness, she should be called Khushir Ma. Shrimati Sen said later, "When Khushir Ma came to the pond, the ghats [or banks] would be lit up by her radiant beauty.

It was here in Ashtagrama that Ramani Mohan's beautiful -ife was first recognized as a "spiritually exalted woman." Srimati Sen's brother, Harkumar, was a highly educated though unstable man, prone to religious fervor, who had lost several jobs and was now living with his sister. Soon thereafter, Harkumar entered Nirmala's room and said, "Now you are my mother". Thus, he became the first one to call her Ma. From that day on, Harkumar took every opportunity to serve Nirmala with great devotion. Nirmala, befitting a young wife, refused to talk to Harkumar or let him look at her. Yet, he faithfully performed pranams to her every morning and evening and asked for prasad, or blessed food, after she had finished eating. When she continued to refuse him, Harkumar appealed to Ramani Mohan. Ramani Mohan took pity on the devoted Harkumar and asked Nirmala to give him her prasad. Nirmala, having vowed to obey her husband, complied. When Harkumar asked his Ma for a new name, she gave him the name Haribola, or the Song of God, and he proceeded to sing God's name very devotedly.

One night at the house in Ashtagrama, Nirmala said to her husband after dinner, "Let me sit for a while for Harinam. I shall retire later." Ramani Mohan did not object because he thought chanting might be good for his wife's delicate health. From that night on, Nirmala sat for Harinam, lighting incense and a lamp near a picture of Kali. These evening sessions initiated a "restless stream of bhava" or religious ecstasy. In time Nirmala began to sit for Harinam while her husband was at work, and the spiritual ecstasies continued. It was Harkumar who become "instrumental in calling attention to the ecstatic states of Anandamayi Ma.

One day Harkumar pleaded with Ma to let him arrange a kirtan under her sacred tulsi plant. Nirmala asked her husband, and Ramani Mohan "was overjoyed." Harkumar cleaned the courtyard and had the walls plastered with cow dung in preparation for what was to be the first event at which Nirmala was publicly observed to be in a state of bhava. During the kirtan, Nirmala was seated inside the house on the bed of Madhu Baba's wife, who was ill. After some time, she peeked at the kirtan through a crack in the door and saw the entire house fill with an amazing light. Her body fell down on the ground and rolled, breaking one of her conch bangles. The sick woman called her husband and the other men from the kirtan. They all thought Nirmala was suffering from a fit and tried to revive her with water. However, Nirmala's body continued to quiver.

This pattern of thrilling was such that, under its impulse, Her body was lifted in the air with an upsurging movement, and nobody had the power to restrain it. There appeared in Her a combination of laughter and tears in a strange way, which continued ceaselessly. What a unique phenomenon; the body in divine splendor with smile on the face! Externally and internally, a strange wave of joy, as in rhythm with the inhalation and exhalation of breath, was surging all through Her body. There was, at that time, freedom from any sense of shyness and hesitation which are normal under a veil. Even in those who were making an effort to lift Ma and seat Her, the touch of Her body seemed to transform their inner state in a strange way. Those who performed this kirtan considered themselves fortunate and blessed. Later, in that same state, she remained seated, calm and motionless for a long time, "her face and eyes bathed in a radiant glow." Ma described her state of bliss in the following way: "Just as perspiration trickles down a human body in an incessant stream, so blissful ecstasy oozes out of every pore of this body.

A second kirtan was arranged under the tulsi plant, and Nirmala again went into the same state of bhava. This time Nirmala ran toward the kirtan, arms up-stretched and eyes upturned, and had to be restrained. Later Ramani Mohan said, "What is all this? I feel ashamed to face people," and decided not to hold kirtan for a while. After some time, however, Ramani Mohan was asked by his landlord to invite the famous kirtan singer, Gagan Sadhu, to sing in the drawing room of the house. Nirmala, in the back room, again fell off a cot, her body cold as if dead. She was carried to her room, and by dawn there was still no movement in her body. Everyone was very concerned, and it was decided to invite Gagan Sadhu back for a second kirtan, in hopes that it might revive Nirmala. This time, she was carried into the room where the kirtan was going on and laid on the other side of a curtain. By the end of the kirtan, she was still in a completely unresponsive state. She remained in a state of "drowsy exhilaration" for three to four days. It seemed that "since the day kirtan was initially performed under the tulsi plant, the moment [the singing of the name of God] reached Ma's ears, immediately, like the action of electricity, Her body would quickly turn abnormal."

Her sessions of Harinam in the house continued and she began assuming different yogic kriyas, or spontaneous postures. When she attended spiritual readings, she would have to leave when she felt a bhava coming on and would stagger to her room. Other members of the household began to see her differently. Kshetra Babu, seeing her in a red sari one day, prostrated himself before her and addressed her as "Devi Durga." Writing to his wife he said, "I noticed Ramani Mohan's wife. She appeared like a burning lantern."

During the time in which Nirmala lived with her husband at Ashtagrama, Ramani Mohan had reason to question whether he would ever have a normal, married relationship with his wife. As soon as they began to live together, Ramani Mohan "found a spiritual aura around his wife which precluded all worldly thoughts from his mind. He accepted her as he found her: gentle, obliging and hardworking, but without a trace of worldly feeling or desire." It is said that when he first tried to approach Her physically, he supposedly received such a violent electric shock that he put for a time being all thought of a physical relationship out of his mind. He seems to have initially thought that this was only a temporary condition. That Nirmala was still such a child and that She would later become "normal." But the marriage was never physically consummated.

Surely his wife was devoted to him. She ate his leftovers as prasad, did pranam to the water she used to wash his feet and drank it, and would even eat a bit of the earth touched by his feet before she took her meal. Ramani Mohan, seeing these acts of service, "remained charmed, feeling always as if a small girl was near him." However, he wondered, since there was nothing physically wrong with her, why was there no trace of worldly desire in her? Yet, simple-hearted and self-forgetful as he was, he remained under the influence of some invisible power, not knowing what it was and having within himself a feeling of reverence as well.

Later Ma said of her time there, "In the dark, I sometimes perceived a strange effulgence enveloping my body, and that light seemed to move about with time." Some report that at that time Nirmala used to cure the ailments of the sick people around whenever she felt moved to by the divine will.

The Lila of Sadhana (1918-1924)

In Bajitpur, Nirmala began to engage in intensive practice of sadhana as mantra repetition. While during the day she remained "the serene and pleasant-spoken young housewife," at night "she was a devout and dedicated seeker (sadhaka) fully occupied with the manifestations of the inner life."128 After she had served her husband dinner around nine o'clock, she would prepare the corner of the room for her worship, clean it, and purify it with incense.

While Ramani Mohan watched in awe, she would then sit in a perfect yogic posture on the floor in the corner of the room and repeat the name of God. Sometimes her body would spontaneously assume intricate yogic postures and hand movements, coordinated with the speed of respiration, which could vary from very fast to so slow as to be almost nonexistent. It is said that "at that time a bright light emanated from her body and therefore she often covered herself with a cloth."

Although Nirmala was performing these practices in the privacy of her own house, her activities did not remain secret for long. Through the apertures in the cane matting some people [saw] these marvellous movements and other actions performed by Ma, but no one understood the real importance of all this. Some believed that these actions were prompted by spirits or ghosts, others thought it was some kind of disease. On the basis of their individual beliefs people came and advised Ramani Mohan to show his wife to some exorcist or physician.

When, even in the daytime, Sanskrit mantras and stanzas began to flow from Nirmala's lips in the presence of outsiders, Ramani Mohan decided to call in some spirit exorcists to try "to put an end to the improper behavior of his wife. Two of them, upon seeing her, recognized her spiritual attainment. They simply exclaimed "Ma! Ma!", prostrated and went away. At the same time, Ramani Mohan consulted with Dr. Mahendra Nandi of Kalikach, a physician of great repute, who saw Ma and said, "These are all elevated states and not any illness. Please do not expose her to the gaze of all and sundry." After that Ramani Mohan stopped consulting people about Ma's state.

In Bajitpur, many recognized Nirmala's state as extraordinary. A friend, Usha, visited her regularly, even though her mother-in-law did not approve. Once she secretly brought her son, who was very ill, to receive Nirmala's touch. He recovered, and Usha was convinced that it was because of that touch. She would say, "Do you know, although you are so much younger, I feel like calling you Mother!" In anxiety one day, Ramani Mohan sought out the advice of a venerated Vaishnava holy man. The holy man suggested that Nirmala might wear a tulsi mala around her neck to help her sadhana. When Ramani Mohan told Nirmala, she asked him to inquire of the holy man whether "japa performed on a mala is better than the japa of the mind." The holy man told Ramani Mohan that a mala was not necessary and that there was no reason to feel worried.

From May 1922, there seemed to be a significant intensification of Nirmala's spiritual activities. It was as if she had assumed the role of a spiritual practitioner in earnest. Ma reports, "One day in Bajitpur, I went to bathe in a pond near the house where I lived. While I was pouring water over my body, the kheyala [spiritual impulse] suddenly came to me, 'How would it be to play the role of a sadhaka?' During her evening sessions, after her body assumed various yogic postures and hand movements, she would "sink into deep meditation for hours, her body still and motionless, sometimes like a rock and sometimes limp like a rag doll. Thus, she "enacted the role of the sadhaka to perfection. It is to be called a role because even in this she remained self-sufficient, looking to nothing or nobody outside herself. It was in the nature of a manifestation, not an achievement."

Each night during namajapa, Nirmala repeated the name of Hari, as her father had taught her to do. Ramani Mohan, a devout Shakta, apparently became perturbed by this. Ma says, One night Bholanath said to me, "We are Shaktas. Why do you always repeat 'Hari bol?' This is not fitting." I replied, "Then what should I chant? 'Jai Shiva Shankara, Vom Vom, Hara Hara'. This body did not know any mantras, so whatever came I voiced. Bholanath was satisfied and said: "Yes, just recite this!", which she did. With the repetition of "Jai Shiva Shankara" [the various spontaneous yogic postures performed by this body] became even more intricate. So many different asanas came about of themselves, one after the other—such as siddhasana, gomukhi asana, etc. The strange thing was that while repeating the Name postures formed spontaneously and then, with an audible sound in the spinal column, this body would straighten out naturally into a completely upright pose. Thereafter the repetition of the Name would cease by itself and some kind of absorption (tanmaya bhava) ensued.

Nirmala became more and more centered on the inner life, until this process of interiorization culminated in an initiation, which in this case was as unique as the spiritual discipline which led up to it. One day in July 1922, Ramani Mohan, under the advice of his sister-in-law, suggested to Nirmala that she get herself initiated by the family guru as soon as possible. A month later, on August 3, on the full moon of Jhulan Purnima, a most extraordinary event occurred.

Ma reports: Bholanath had had his evening meal. A hookah was got ready and given to him. He lay down smoking and watching what I was doing. The care with which I had wiped the floor of the room and then sat down in an asana seemed somewhat unusual to him. But after watching for a while he fell asleep. Here also, the curious thing is that the yajna and puja that have to be performed during the initiation were spontaneously carried out by this body. The yajna stall (vessel] was placed in front; all the various ingredients necessary for the puja, such as flowers, fruit, water, etc. were already there; although not everybody could see them, yet there was no doubt about their actual existence. The diksha mantra emanated from the navel and was pronounced by the tongue. Then the mantra was written by the hand on the yajna vessel and puja and fire sacrifice were duly performed over the mantra, that is to say all the rituals prescribed by the Shastras for diksha were duly gone through. Later when my fingers were moving to count the japa, Bholanath woke up and saw me perform japa.

On another occasion Ma said of her initiation, "As the master (guru) I revealed the mantra; as the disciple (shishya) I accepted it and started to recite it. The mantra now replaced the Names of God which I had been repeating earlier, as the realization dawned within me that the Master, the mantra, the Lord (ishta) and the disciple are One.

Soon after Nirmala's self-initiation, her cousin, Nishikanta Bhattacarya, came to visit for a few days. He was shocked to witness the extraordinary evening behavior of his cousin and decided one night to challenge her. As Nirmala was meditating, Nishikanta asked Ramani Mohan what his wife was doing. Nirmala, fully veiled, lifted the veil and, with a stern expression, said, "Oh, what do you want to know?" Nishikanta, taken aback, took a few steps backward and asked respectfully, "Who are you?" Nirmala asked, "Were you frightened seeing that bhava?' She went on to say in an indistinct tone, "I am Mahadeva and Mahadevi [God and Goddess]." Then Ramani Mohan asked, "What are you doing?" Nirmala replied, "Sandhya and nama japa". Ramani Mohan said, "You are not allowed to do that without proper initiation from a guru." Nirmala responded, "I conferred it on myself the night ofjhulan Purnima."

Ramani Mohan then asked his wife when he should take initiation and from whom. Nirmala replied, "It will be Wednesday, the sixteenth Agrahayan. I will do it." She asked Ramani Mohan to go get Janaki Babu to confirm the date astrologically which he did. Jananki Babu was also was taken aback by Nirmala's appearance and asked her who she was. Nirmala replied with perfect composure, "Purna Brahma Narayana [The Absolute]." Janaki Babu told her that she was being naughty. Nirmala replied, "I am what I stated. You can stick to your views." They asked Nirmala for proof. At that moment Mataji immediately started repeating many mantras and stotras and there was a great change in Her Mahabhava which frightened both of them. Janaki Babu and Nishikanta slipped away quietly while [Ramani Mohan] was directed to sit in front of Mataji. She then touched his Brahma Talu (center on top of the head). He immediately pronounced Om and went into a deep trance for hours.

When Janaki Babu and Nishikanta returned, they were worried about Ramani Mohan and prayed to Nirmala to restore him. She did, and Ramani Mohan reported that he had had no body consciousness and had been filled with indescribable bliss.

In the months following her self-initiation, Nirmala appeared a changed person even during the hours when she was not actually engaged in sadhana. She seemed withdrawn and there was a far-away look on her face. The erstwhile popular girl began to be shunned by her neighbors. Her companions and friends, puzzled and mystified, tended to avoid her. Nirmala, on the other hand, welcomed this solitude. Now that she was left severely alone, she had more time to devote to her sadhana.

Nirmala's sadhana began to assume more concrete form. Although she had no previous knowledge of Sanskrit, Sanskrit hymns sprang spontaneously from her lips. When she was performing intricate yoga asanas, her long hair sometimes became entangled with her limbs and was torn out by the roots, yet she had no sense of bodily pain. Oftentimes she would go for long periods without food or drink. For long hours she would be on the floor, her face and body bathed in a light marvelous to behold. Ma later disclosed that in the months following her self-initiation she traversed the paths of all religions and faiths apart from the variety of forms of Hinduism. She had the kheyala to experience, as it were, the trials, hardships, and despairs of the pilgrim in search of God and also his state of blissful excitement.

She later said: A vast range of spiritual experience was encapsulated within this short span of time for the benefit of all seekers of Truth. At night when the different stages of sadhana were being manifested through this body, what a variety of experiences I then had! Sometimes I used to hear distinctly "Repeat this mantra." When I got the mantra a query arose in me: "Whose mantra is this?" At once the reply came: "It is the mantra of Ganesh or Vishnu" or something like that. Again the query came from myself: "How does he look?" A form was revealed in no time. Every question was met by a prompt reply and there was immediate dissolution of all doubts and misgivings. One day I distinctly got the command: "From today you are not to bow down to anybody." I asked my invisible monitor: "Who are you?" The reply came: "Your Shakti (power)." I thought that there was a distinct Shakti residing in me and guiding me by issuing commands from time to time. Since all this happened at the stage of sadhana, jnana was being revealed in a piecemeal fashion. The integral knowledge which this body was possessed of from the very beginning was broken, as it were, into parts and there was something like the superimposition of ignorance. After some time I again heard the voice within myself which told me: "Whom do you want to make obedience to? You arc everything." At once I realized that the Universe was all my own manifestation. Partial knowledge then gave place to the integral and I found myself face to face with the One that appears as many. It was then that I understood why I had been forbidden to bow to anyone."

It was also during this period that Nirmala began to display siddhis, or spiritual powers. A young friend of Ramani Mohan's had been unable to have children, but did not want to take another wife. According to Ma, he told his father that after this body would get up from her asana after puja he would touch my feet and mentally pray for a son. . . . [When he did this] he at once fell down unconscious and therefore could not offer prayers. Hour after hour passed but he did not return to his senses. [Ramani Mohan] became frightened and requested me to see that he became alright. . . . When after a long interval he regained consciousness, he said it was impossible to describe the blissful ecstasy he had been plunged in all the while. Even though he had been unable to pray for a son as planned, yet, because it had been on his mind while touching me, he later did have children.

A short time later, in January 1923, Nirmala began a three-year period of silence, or mauna. She kept this silence very strictly, refraining even from gestures or facial expressions. Once during this period, Ramani Mohan's youngest brother, Jamini Kumar, came for a visit. He was very fond of Nirmala and was depressed by her silence. He followed her everywhere, imploring her to speak to him. One day Nirmala seated herself in a yogic posture and drew an imaginary circle around herself. She uttered some mantras and then, with an indistinct voice, which gradually became stronger, she spoke to her young brother-in-law, while sitting inside kundali. After she wiped off the circle in the same manner, she got up and was silent again. On a few other occasions, she followed the same procedure to temporarily break her silence. She also stopped visiting other people's houses during this period.

The Shahbagh Years: A Gathering of Devotees (1924-1928)

Although Nirmala was still cooking and performing household tasks, she continued to observe silence and was in states of trance and ecstasy much of the day. Her states of bhava began to interfere more and more with her work: "While serving food, her hand would stop midway; while cleaning utensils at the pond, she would fall into the water and lie half-immersed in it for a long time; she would get scorched by the fire of the kitchen oven or imperil herself in other ways.

During Nirmala and Bholanath's stay at Bajitpur, Nirmala had had a vision of a sacred tree somewhere near Dacca and sensed was that it was called a Siddheshvari tree. During their first few months at Shahbagh, Nirmala was taken by a childhood friend of Bholanath to visit an ancient, overgrown Kali temple nearby Shahbagh called Siddheshvari. In front of the temple, Nirmala recognized the tree of her vision, now fallen to the ground. The sacred site was reputed to be a siddhapith, or site where yogis had reached realization, and was associated with Shri Shankaracharya, the famous ninth-century philosopher. In September 1924, Nirmala told Bholanath that it was her kheyala to stay at the Siddheshvari temple for a few days. Since Bholanath needed to work at Shahbagh during the day, it was decided that Dadamahashaya, Nirmala's father, would stay with her until Bholanath returned at night.

Nirmala spent her days at Siddheshvari in seclusion in the small back room of the temple. At night she would emerge to partake of fruit with Bholanath and his friend, Baul Chandra. On the eighth day, Nirmala asked Bholanath to follow her out of the temple and walk in a northern direction to a small clearing. She circumambulated a plot of ground, drew a circle, and sat down facing south. Mantras began to spring from her lips. She placed her right hand on the ground and leaned on it. What looked like solid ground yielded to her hand, and her arm plunged into the soil unimpeded. Bholanath pulled out her arm and suggested that they leave. Just then, warm, reddish water sprang forth from the hole. Nirmala asked Bholanath to put his hand in the hole, and when he did the reddish liquid gushed forth again. Later a brick platform was erected at this sacred site, and Ma used to sit on the platform surrounded by her devotees.

Women had freer access to Nirmala, but eventually Bholanath asked her to speak more freely to the men who gathered for her darshan. It seemed as if Bholanath intuitively knew that he must disregard conventions and set aside all feelings of possessiveness to make Ma accessible to the public. As an increasing number of devotees gathered at Shahbagh, Nirmala warned her husband: "You must think twice before opening the doors to the world in this manner. Remember that you will not be able to stem the tide when it becomes overwhelming."

But Bholanath continued to invite people. The people attracted to the young Anandamayi Ma were primarily respectable, educated people—professors, civil servants, doctors—many of whom were not previously religious. However, their contact with Nirmala transformed them from worldly people into devotees. One devotee, Usha Didi, is reported to have said to Nirmala during her first year at Shahbagh, "I have a desire to call you Ma. I do not feel sisterly towards you. I feel you are a mother to me." Ma replied, "Not you alone. One day many people of the world will call this body Ma." And so it was, more and more people came to see Nirmala as their Ma.

During Ma's years at Shahbagh, most people came to meet her out of a desire to be in her powerful spiritual presence. Some came for instructions, while others came for cures to ailments. Ordinarily Ma would say, "Pray to God. He will do what is best for his patient." Occasionally, when Bholanath implored Ma to cure someone's illness, Ma would take on that illness and Bholanath became convinced not to ask her.

Once the head trustee of the Nawabzadi's estate invited Bholanath and Ma to dinner and asked Ma to help the Nawabzadi win a legal case. Ma agreed but placed a hot coal in her hand, later explaining, "If yogic powers are used deliberately [for worldly gain], then the sadhaka has to perform penance for it." Another time Bholanath asked Ma, "If it makes no difference to you what you eat, can you eat some of this chili powder?" Ma put a handful of the powder in her mouth and went about her housework, with no change of expression. Bholanath subsequently suffered from several days of bloody dysentery, which Ma dutifully nursed him through, remarking, "I have requested you so many times not to test me like this." Bholanath responded, "I shall not do it again."

In 1925, some devotees requested that Ma perform the Kali Puja, the yearly worship of the Divine Mother in her manifestation as Kali. Ma reluctantly agreed, and the puja held at Siddheshvari came to be Ma's first public appearance. An image of Kali was brought. Sri Ma sat on the ground in a meditative posture in absolute silence. Then like one overwhelmed with devotion, She started the puja, chanting mantras and placing flowers with sandal paste upon Her own head instead of on the image. All Her actions appeared to be like a doll's movements, as if some invisible hand were using Her body as a pliant tool for the expression of the Divine. Occasionally some flowers were strewn on the statue of Kali. In this manner the puja was performed.

A goat was to be sacrificed. It was bathed in water. When it was brought to Mother, She took it on Her lap and wept as She stroked its body gently with Her hands. Then she recited some mantras, touching every part of the animal's body and whispered something into its ear. Thereafter She worshipped the scimitar with which the goat was to be sacrificed. She prostrated Herself on the ground, placing the knife upon Her own neck. Three sounds like the bleating of a goat came from Her lips. Afterwards when the animal was sacrificed, it neither moved nor uttered a cry, nor was there any trace of blood upon the severed head or body. Only with great difficulty one single drop of blood was at last drawn from the animal's carcass. All that time Sri Ma's face glowed with an intense uncommon beauty and throughout the ceremony there was a spell of great sanctity and deep absorption over all people present.

In January 1926, a kirtan party was held at Shahbagh to celebrate the solar eclipse, or uttarayan sankranti. It was at kirtan that Ma first displayed full bhava in public.The kirtan started at 10 A.M. while Ma was placing vermilion bindis, or dots, on the women's foreheads. Suddenly the vermilion case dropped from Her hand. Her body sank down flat to the ground and began to roll on it. Then she slowly rose and stood on Her two big toes. Both hands were raised straight up, Her head slightly tilted to one side and a little backwards, and Her radiant eyes stared with a steady gaze towards the far end of the sky. A little later she began to move in that posture. Her body appeared to be filled with a heavenly presence. She paid no heed to Her clothes hanging loosely on her person. No one had the inclination to stop her.

Her whole body danced on with measured beats in a most delicate way and reached the placed where kirtan was going on. Ma began to revolve in the midst of the kirtan singers. Her eyes were turned upward without a flicker of the eyelids, her face was shining with a supernatural glow, and her whole body was covered with a blood-red effulgence. Suddenly, as we were watching her, she fell onto the ground from the standing position. But it did not seem that she was hurt even slightly. As it fell, the body started rotating fast just like a leaf or a paper blown about by a cyclone. We tried to hold down the body but it was impossible to control that speed. After awhile, Ma became still and sat up. Her eyes were closed and she was seated in a yogic posture, steady, grave, motionless.

A little later she started roaming around, singing, first softly and then loudly and clearly. What a beautiful voice it was! Everything was new. Everyone was witnessing for the first time this bhava of Ma which had remained very secret all these days. Ma sat quietly for awhile, then her body fell to the ground.There was no pulsation at all, the breathing was very faint and slow. The eclipse was over.

During this same period of time, Ma displayed less and less interest in her physical body. She needed people to keep watch on her and explained, "See, I cannot differentiate properly between fire and water. If you people can look after this body, it will remain, otherwise it will be destroyed." So look after her they did. The self-imposed regulations in Ma's diet changed from day to day. For a period of time, she would eat only two or three grains of rice a day, or she would eat only fruit which had fallen from the trees, or only food eaten off the floor. In January 1926, Ma was feeding Gurupriya Devi, or Didi, as she was affectionately called, some fish curry off her plate and laughingly said, "Today I have fed you. In the future you will feed me." Some weeks later Ma's eating with her own hands stopped once and for all.

In September 1928, Ma traveled to Varanasi. It had been three years since Ma had told Usha Didi that someday many people would call her Ma, and it was in Varanasi that this prediction became a reality. In Varanasi, from early morning til late at night, there was a constant stream of men and women passing in and out of the house where Ma held darshan. Bholanath, feeling overwhelmed, tried to persuade her not to agree to see so many people day in and day out, but Ma responded, "Now you are not to say anything to me. When there was the time, I warned you, but you did not heed my warning. Now you cannot turn the tide back."

Ma's Death

Anandamayi Ma (Nirmala) died on 27 August 1982 in Dehradun, and subsequently on 29 August 1982 a Samadhi (shrine) was built in the courtyard of her Kankhal ashram, situated in Haridwar in North India. Thus ends the biography of one of the greatest women saints of modern India

Credits

This biography is based on materials found in the book "Mother of Bliss" by Lisa Lassell Hallstrom

Rare Book of Conversations of Anandamayi Ma

WORDS OF SRI ANANDAMAYI MA - TRANSLATED AND COMPILED BY ATMANANDA